dog is god backwards

seems like such an silly thing, but in many ways it rings true in my life. i'm not a super religious person. i believe in a power greater than myself or anyone else, but i feel most intimate with that power when in nature - not church.

i have a dog. she's amazing. she loves me more than anyone likely ever has or will. she comforts me when i'm sick. she keeps me company when i am blue. she celebrates with me when i'm happy. she is more loyal and generous in spirit than anyone i will ever know.

i often get into funks regarding my status as an adoptee - feeling alone and helpless, sad that my adoptive family is not close, sad that i never really had a father, sad that my mother worked all the time, sad that i'm no longer on speaking terms with my sister - the one person i thought would always have my back in life. i have a very supportive and sympathetic husband, but the one thing that keeps me tethered to this life on earth is my dog. in my darkest moments, when i imagine how easy it would be to give up, she is there to comfort me and give me strength and courage to keep going.

the world is going to end in one and a half years...

this is what my boss keeps saying. he said it to the new hire today - his boss. he just had a baby 6 weeks ago and has a 3-year-old too. he says to hell with recycling. to hell with minimizing plastic use. to hell with minimizing anything harmful to us or the world. so basically to hell with the rest of us. what a freaking nut case.

i'm not sure how long i can work for someone who clearly has such a bleak outlook on life and complete disregard for anyone other that himself and his family.

blood relatives?!

my husband got me a genetic test from 23 and me two years ago. the company has slowly added more test results and features to my account - this last week, i got notification that they have started posting results for likely genetic relationships.

according to 23 and me, i have several 'fifth cousins' out there (aka fourth cousin, once removed). this means 0.11-0.13% of our genes are the same, and we share great great great great grandparents. so, in theory, i could contact these people and start a family tree that might lead me to me biological parents. it seems like an impossible task... am i crazy to think this is a viable way to find my roots??

eta: after reading more closely, a few of the 5th cousins could possibly be 3rd cousins!