feeling asian in napa?

i went to the city yesterday to run some errands, indulged in some yummy asian food on clement street, and bought some gochoojang at the korean market (i'm not a super fan of korean food but i do like the spicy pepper paste).  i saw hundreds of asian people in the few short hours i was there.  it was great. but at the same time, it wasn't.

i've been complaining to friends and family that i'm 'lucky' to see one other asian a day up here in napa.  and, to be surrounded by asian people again in the city was like breathing a sigh a relief - i could blend in and wander the streets anonymously!  not one person did a double take or asked me about my english.  it was a 'luxury' i've been living without the last 6 months.

but, at the same time, being around all those asian people while they were buying their asian groceries and speaking their native languages made me realize just how un-asian i am.  and, conversely, living in napa has strangely made me feel more asian that i really am...living surrounded by white people i suppose does that to a yellow girl...

i felt this when i first travelled in korea a few years ago.  all at once, i was in a sea of people who looked just like me.  and, all at once i was surrounded by people with whom i had nothing in common.  i didn't share their language, their culture, their food, their fashion sense - nothing.  i wasn't too surprised to feel that way in korea, but i never imagined i would feel like that in california.