a new opportunity

i've been looking for a job the past few months without much luck or success.  people aren't hiring and if they are, they want you for pennies on the dollar.  it actually 'pays' to be young and inexperienced in this market - i'm pretty sure i was overqualified for the last job i was turned down from.  

anyway, i applied to this one job on a whim.  it wasn't my 'dream job' but in this economy, any job is a 'dream job' i suppose.  and, at the very least, it's related to my career.  so, the company responded instantaneously to my application.  and after a series of interviews spanning two weeks and more than 10 hours, i've finally been offered the job.  

i suppose i would be crazy not to accept the position.  

working would allow my husband and i to more easily afford a house.  

it would potentially help me feel better connected to the community.  

and it would keep my mind and body occupied.

i've found that left to my own devices, my mind goes to the 'dark places' and forces me to confront all the things i've neglected over the years, especially the things related to my adoption.  these 'dark places' are so scary i've gone to great lengths to avoid them, mostly through over-scheduling myself with work (even work that sucks cause it's easier to be unhappy with a job than have to deal with anything 'real').  

i've been without a 'real job' for 7 months.  the 'dark places' are still there, but they're no longer pitch black or thick as tar.  

they're more gray and fluid and not nearly as scary. 

i'm no longer afraid to be unemployed or without a crazy schedule.

i'm no longer afraid of the quiet and still places.  

the 'old me' would have jumped on the job - it's no wonder i've had so many bad ones...  

this 'new me' can take the time to see the job as more than just filled time and space.  

granted, the crap economy will likely factor in my decision, but at least it's not about running from myself.